Child Sexual Abuse - Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

Child Sexual Abuse - Information for adults sexually abused as children

"Now I know it wasn't my fault"

‘I didn’t tell anyone at the time because I thought no-one would believe me.’

You are not alone

It is against the law for adults to behave in a sexual way towards children. But this happens to many children, both girls and boys. It often involves someone you know and trust such as a parent, sibling or other family member, carer, babysitter, religious leader, teacher, or friend of the family.

Any form of sexual activity with a child by an adult or an older person, is abusive. This could include sexual touching, sexual acts, flashing, making sexual comments, being made to watch sexual acts or pornography.

If you remember this happening you may feel:

scared to tell anyone
worried about what people will think or that they won’t believe you
sad because you lost a part of your childhood
disbelief that it happened
angry at the person who did this and because no-one protected you
guilty because they tricked you into thinking you did something to make it happen
ashamed at not being able to stop it
confused about what happened or because it was someone you liked
betrayed.

‘For many years I blamed myself for the abuse because I didn’t stop it.’

‘He told me he was doing it because he loved me.'

‘I think my mother suspected what was happening, but she was too afraid of my step-father to do anything about it.’

It’s OK to feel angry

It’s not your fault

You were a child

They knew it was wrong

Child sexual abuse is a crime

The trauma of sexual abuse shows up in different ways because everyone has their own way of coping. The effects may not be noticed for many years.

Many people who were abused say that they they:

hate their body
feel bad about themselves
don’t trust anyone or find intimacy in relationships difficult
often ‘space out’
sometimes feel crazy ‘without reason’
hurt themselves
force themselves to be busy and ‘on the move’ all the time
feel angry at someone or angry at everyone
have nightmares and flashbacks of the abuse.

If you were sexually abused, these ideas might help:

Talking to someone you trust can help you feel less alone
It can be a relief to accept that the abuse really happened and that it caused you great pain. This pain is a normal reaction to trauma
Try to trust your memories and feelings
Remember - it was not your fault - the person who hurt you is to blame
You have lived through the abuse and survived

‘Even though it may seem frightening to accept that you have been abused, it is an important step and there is support out there when you need it.’

‘I struggled with depression for years. I have only recently understood how it is connected to the abuse I suffered as a child.’

‘A big thing for me has been to learn to feel connected to the world again. For years I felt like a zombie, it was like I wasn’t connected to my feelings or to other people.’

There are services that can help

In Victoria, Centres Against Sexual Assault can offer you:

free counselling and support
information about other understanding
counsellors and groups
information on your legal rights

Free call throughout Victoria, 24 hours a day 1800 806 292; TTY: (03) 9635 3620 (or after hours TTY 9344 2744).

The Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria has:

A website with helpful information and contacts for services Australia wide www.dvirc.org.au
Information on support groups and services
A library with books, articles and videos you can borrow.

You can also phone us for information on other services - ph. (03) 9486 9866; TTY (03) 9417 1255; Fax (03) 9486 9744; Email: dvrcv@dvrcv.org.au

In every state in Australia there are 24 hour hotlines, services that provide counselling and information, and support groups specifically for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. See Support Services

Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria (DVRCV, formerly DVIRC)
Produced by DVRCV A0012310X, Printed November 2006.
Funded by the Department of Human Services, Victoria.

DVRCV has produced the printed version of this pamphlet in line with Vision Australia Readability Guidelines.

Download print version of this pamphlet (pdf)