Helpful Information about abuse and violence - Domestic Violence & Incest Resource Centre

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Stories & advice about surviving and recovering from domestic violence Comforting a friend

How do other people survive domestic violence? What helped them? What advice do they have for others?

These stories are all true (except that all names and details have been changed). These people have told their stories in the hope that they will help others who are being abused. Most of these stories are from women in heterosexual relationships, but some are from women in lesbian relationships, and a few are from men who were abused. See also stories from women with disabilities.

Stories from younger people (aged under 25 years) can be found on the 'When love hurts' website.

Stories from women who have experienced abusive relationships:

  • Jane - 'My journey to hell and back began twelve years ago...'
  • Katherine - 'When his violence became much worse and was being directed at the children, I changed.'
  • Jody - 'I know what it's like to be disregarded and disrespected by the legal system'
  • Anna - 'It took me a lot of false starts, but eventually I stepped out of an abusive relationship'.
  • Maria - 'It’s quite a terrible thing to admit that you have been in two abusive relationships'.
  • Alex - 'I believed he wanted to change. We even went to counselling together'
  • Kaz - 'I began to believe that it was my fault and felt like I was in this rollercoaster that I couldn't get off'
  • "D's" story - 'I look in the eyes of my baby girl and know that she watched every bit. It helped to be able to see the truth.'
  • Ann - 'I told him to stop but he wouldn't, and I pushed him away but he pushed me back '
  • Julie - 'After we broke up, he started to stalk me'
  • Sallie - "Falling in love doesn't mean the guy is right for you"
  • L - "Now I stand up to him when he gives orders"
  • Kazza - "Then over time, sex became more important to him than being together"
  • Angel -"he pushed me into prostitution"
  • Lena - "I married an abusive man who had a severe drinking problem"

Stories about abuse in lesbian relationships:

  • Dannielle - "I didn't want to believe that the woman whom I adored could be f***ing with me"
  • Rebecca - "I was left feeling I had to walk on eggshells"
  • Michelle - "There was never any physical abuse, but the emotional abuse was constant"
  • Jade - "slowly, before I could even realize what was going on, it went bad'.
  • Ayet - "everything I did had to be revolving around her"

Stories from women with disabilities

See Getting Free from Abuse - a guide for women with disabilities

Stories from men who have been abused:

  • David - "She took every opportunity to belittle me. When in a temper, she often hit me"
  • Cyrus - "my pride was deeply shaken"

 

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