Self Help Books in our library - Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

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Self-help and Recovery Books in our Library

The Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria Library holds the most comprehensive collection of books, articles, videos and research on family violence in Victoria. Visitors may borrow books and self-help material, and photocopying is 10c per sheet. Ring to make an appointment with the librarian Ph. (03) 9486-9866.

The books below are just some of the books available in our library that assist survivors of violence or abuse.

Books for Adults: Domestic Violence

Dragon Slippers: this is what an abusive relationship looks like. By Rosalind B. Penfold (2006), HarperPress, UK
This autobiography tells, through a pictorial diary, the story of a successful woman who was in an abusive relationship. It offers caution against ignoring the warning signs of abuse and offers inspiration for women who want to break free from abusive relationships. The animation and cartoon style conveys a message that sometimes cannot be captured in words. This is particularly useful when illustrating the devastating impact of emotional and verbal abuse, which is not easily
articulated. It provides a view of the whole family and the impact experienced by each member as an incident is occurring. The book effectively demonstrates warning signs of control and power that may occur in the beginning of an abusive relationship. The reader also gains an important and rare insight by witnessing abuse through a child's eyes.

Real Rape, Real Pain: help for women sexually assaulted by male partners. By Patricia Easteal, and Louise McOrmond- Plummer (2006), Hybrid Publishers, Victoria.
This book is focused exclusively on women who have been sexually assaulted by a partner. Partner rape has often been perceived by the media and the community not to be as serious or traumatic as 'real' rape by strangers. The book draws on the experiences of thirty
survivors of partner rape from Australia, North America Canada and the UK. This book assists survivors to recover from sexual assault, and provides a useful resource for professionals.

It's My Life Now: starting over after an abusive relationship or domestic violence . By Meg K. Dugan & Roger. R. Hock. Routledge, New York, 2000.
A useful guide with lots of practical advice and encouragement for women who have ended or who are ending violent relationships. Includes exercises and checklists on assessing any current risk of danger from an ex-partner, dealing with feelings of loss of the relationship, stress, and advice on looking for new directions and relationships.

New Beginnings: a creative writing guide for women who have left abusive partners. By Sharon Doane. Washington, Seal Press, 1996.
Using creative writing exercises, personal stories and helpful advice, this book offers ways of exploring the emotional impact of domestic violence, and establishing new goals and relationships.

Surviving Stalking. Michelle Pathe, Cambridge University Press, 2002
This book describes itself as a " practical and comprehensive survival manual for victims of stalking and related crimes." It does indeed cover a variety of issues and information that would be beneficial for someone suffering from this largely unacknowledged crime. Michelle Pathe, who is a consultant forensic psychiatrist at the Victorian Institute of Forensic Mental Health in Melbourne, discusses the mind of the offender, the impact of the offenders behaviour on the victim, the known statistics related to stalking, and how to avoid becoming a victim of stalking. Criminal justice responses to stalking in the United States, Britain, and Australia and discussed.

Power & Control: Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers By Sandra Horley (2002) revised edition, Published by Random House, London.
This book discusses men who use charm to gain control over a woman and continue to assert this control by emotional and sometimes physical abuse. This is a book of survivor’s stories, women who have reclaimed their lives and the common themes identified by their experiences. It pays particular attention to emotional, social & financial abuse.

Books for Adults: Sexual Abuse

Healing the Trauma of Abuse: a women's workbook . By Mary Ellen Copeland and Maxine Harris. Oakland California, New harbinger, 2000.
Looks at healing from abuse in childhood or in adulthood. This workbook provides spaces to write down ideas, feelings and goals, and covers topics like communication, forgiveness, self-destructive behaviours, decision-making and goal assessment.

Life After Trauma: a workbook for healing. By Dena Rosenbloom and Mary Beth Williams. New York, Guilford Press, 1999.
This workbook is for survivors of any kind of traumatic experience. It is particularly helpful in assisting readers to identify their own reactions to trauma that may have initially been useful for survival, but may not be helpful in the long-term. It contains detailed self-assessment questions and exercises that help to readers to re-gain a sense of safety, self-worth and control.

Leaping upon the Mountains: men proclaiming victory over sexual abuse . Mike Lew, Small Wonder Books, USA, 1999.
Lew identifies three stages of recovery from sexual abuse and provides a range of practical exercises, personal stories and advice for male survivors.

Shining through: pulling it together after sexual abuse - for girls ages 10 and up . M.B Loiselle and L.B Bailey Wright, Safer Society Press, Vermont, 1997 (second edition).
A practical book for girls who have been sexually abused.

The Brother/Sister Hurt: recognising the effects of sibling abuse . Vernon Wiehe, Safer Society Press, Vermont, 1996.
This easy-to-read handbook is for people who have been subjected to abuse from a sibling. It includes practical exercises and quotes from some of the 150 survivors who were interviewed by the author about their experiences.

How Long Does It Hurt? A Guide to Recovering from Incest & Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends and Their Families (Revised Edition)
Cynthia. L Mather with Kristina E. Debyne
Jossey-Boss, 2004
A Wiley Imprint, USA.

Can't Touch My Soul: A Guide for Lesbian Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Donna Rafanello (2004), Alyson Publications, Los Angeles, California.
This book offers lesbian survivors of child sexual abuse recovery strategies in order to cope, heal, find hope and to break the silence. It discusses lesbian identity and issues specific to lesbian survivors of child sexual abuse. Survivors' voices are woven throughout the book as they share their recovery stories and describe their efforts to overcome the long-term effects of abuse. More than 60 survivors participated in the book, representing a diverse group of women varying in age, economic background, ethnicity and from metropolitan and rural communities.

Surviving the Legal System, a handbook for adult and child sexual assault survivors and their supporters (2004).
Dr S Caroline Taylor, Coulomb Communications, Port Melbourne, Victoria.

Beyond Survival, Living Well Is the Best Revenge. Yvonne Dolan (1998) BT Press, London, UK.
Beyond Survival is full of great practical and therapeutic ideas for people wanting to move forward from feeling ‘stuck’ and who are ready to create the life they want for themselves. The book begins with creative ways of re-connecting with your authentic self such as designing meaningful symbols, writing, relaxation and play. Also featured is how to create joyous and satisfying home and work spaces, responding to life’s challenges and how to cope when you’re not having a good day. The chapter on support groups is particularly useful as it provides information on how to start one, as well as many ideas of activities and exercises that are empowering, insightful and fun.

Personal Stories of Abuse

Not Quite Ripe: a memoir
Debra Byrne (2006), Pan Macmillan, New South Wales, Australia
Singer, actress and now author Debra Byrne has written this memoir of her remarkable and turbulent life. Byrne reflects on the abusive treatment and dysfunctional and violent home life at the hands of her parents and the horrendous sexual abuse suffered from her grandparents. During this time she was performing on television to an adoring public who ironically imagined that the image presented on Young Talent Time was one of a girl having the time of her life. What follows was a self destructive path of cocaine and heroin addiction, depression, suicide attempts and destructive personal relationships. However, what shines through is a woman who is a survivor and has now arrived at a place where she can comfortably reflect on her life.

Point Last Seen: a road to recovery after childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence
Ricky Hunter (2006), Debut Publishing Pty Ltd, Australia
The personal story of one woman’s journey through three complex issues – childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and mental illness. Ricky Hunter tells the story of being abducted at age five and how this terrifying ordeal shaped her life from childhood through to her adult life. A remarkable story of courage and determination.

An Uncommon Dialogue
Debra. J Drake (2005), Wakefield Press, South Australia.
A gripping autobiographical account of two years spent in psychotherapy to deal with childhood sexual abuse. This uplifting story is written in two parts: as a dialogue between the patient and her psychiatrist and as a conversation with her mother and sister. The emotions accompanying the narrator's prolonged sexual abuse as a child by her mother’s sexual partners are slowly unravelled, and it becomes clear that her mother was aware of the abuse but failed to protect her daughter. Initially a naive, overwhelmed and confused child, unable to keep a job or develop relationships, the author eventually grows into a clear-thinking adult, aware of her past and capable of understanding its psychological implications.

A Very Normal Family (2005)
Joy Ford, Ginninderra Press, Charnwood, Canberra.
An inspiring and encouraging personal story of one woman's experience of child abuse.

Lucky By Alice Sebold, 1999
Picador, Pan Macmillan Ltd, London.
The memoir from the author of the fiction bestseller The Lovely Bones tells the story of how her life changed when at the age of 18 she was brutally raped and beaten in a park near her college campus. Her attacker was arrested and jailed after a harrowing trial. After overcoming heroin and alcohol abuse and a succession of unhealthy relationships, Sebold eventually obtained a master’s degree. She wanted to publish Lucky to take the stigma out of the word ‘rape’ and to be a face for women with similar stories.

Just Another Little Murder (2002).
Phil Cleary, Allen and Unwin, NSW.
Phil Cleary, a well-known identity in Australian politics and football, describes how his sister was murdered by her ex-partner.

Books for Adults to Help Children

Talking about Domestic Abuse: a Photo Activity Workbook to develop Communication between Mothers & Young people
Cathy Humphreys, Ravi K. Thiara Agnes Skamballis and Audrey Mullender (2006), Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London.
This is a photocopyable activity workbook for children and young people (aged 9 years to adolescence) whose families have experienced Domestic Violence. Based around for main themes including:

Domestic violence
Building self esteem
Naming feelings
Facilitating mother- child communication

Suitable for families as well as support workers and other professionals working with them to assist recovery & moving on.

Talking to my Mum: a Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers and Children affected by Domestic Abuse
Cathy Humphreys, Ravi K. Thiara Agnes Skamballis and Audrey Mullender (2006), Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London.
This is a photocopyable activity workbook for children (5 to 8 years) whose families have experienced Domestic Violence. Illustrated activities with animal characters encourage confidence building. Topics include:

Exploring a range of memories and feelings
Talking about dad
Changes in family living arrangements
Happy times with siblings and friends

Suitable for mothers, as well as support workers and other professionals working with them to assist recovery and moving on.

When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse.
Lundy Bancroft (2004), G. P. Putman's Sons, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., New York.
Lundy Bancroft (also author of The Batterer as Parent, 2002) has written this book for mothers seeking guidance on how to help their children who witness abuse. It covers such areas as: helping children deal with mixed feelings they may have toward the abusive parent; explaining how exposure to abuse affects children's emotions, behaviours and belief systems; and how to deal with child protection and the courts. This book will be helpful not only for mothers but also for friends, relatives or professionals who are interested in supporting women and children.

When Adults Hurt Children: Helping Children Heal From Abuse. Marge Eaton Heegaard, 2005, Fairview Press, Minneapolis, SA.
A workbook for children on coping and healing from abuse.

Books for Children

Books for children

When Lester Lost his Cool
Sophie Havighhurst (2006), University of Melbourne.
The tale of Lester, a train whose anger gets the better of him. This book is currently being used in kindergartens around Melbourne as part of the ‘Tuning into Kids’ program that teaches children skills in understanding and managing strong emotions such as anger.

Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast
Megan Bayliss (2006), Imaginif Pty Ltd, Queensland.
Explores themes of abuse, fear, personal protection, boundaries and rights to safety and protection through the story of Bitssy, a friendly but anxious half-dingo pet dog.

I Feel Scared When Mum & Dad Fight
Tess Rowley & Rhiannon McLay, 2004.
Centacare & Communities Caring for Kids Coalition.
A book addressing the feelings a child may have when there is violence at home.

A Terrible Thing Happened By Margaret M. Holmes, Washington, Magination Press, 2000.
For children (ages 4-8) who have witnessed violence or traumatic events (including domestic violence), this is a wonderful picture book. Tells the story of Sherman Smith, who saw 'the most terrible thing'. He tried to forget about it but it started to bother him. He had bad dreams. Then an adult helped him talk about it and draw pictures about it, and he felt better. The Afterword contains suggestions for parents and caregivers on how to help children.

NoNo The Little Seal: the gentle story of a little seal who learns to stay safe, say 'No', and tell.
Sherri Patterson and Judith Feldman (2004), St Lukes Innovative Resources, Bendigo, Victoria.
This book is for children to read or for adults to read to children. NoNo The Little Seal is a story about sexual abuse. NoNo is very upset when uncle seal touches him in private places. It is very confusing too, as there are some things he likes about uncle seal and he doesn't want him to get into trouble. Through the story of NoNo the reader learns about good and bad secrets, telling someone you trust and rein-forcing that the abuse wasn't their fault. The book has fantastic illustrations and comes with a CD that narrates the story and includes songs which engage the reader in this difficult and sensitive topic.

These any many more self-help books on family violence are available for loan from the DVRCV library (for people in Victoria only). Call (03) 9486-9866 to make an appointment with our librarian.