What Happened:
My boyfriend would always tell me that the only person I needed in my
life was him. He also would tell me that he was the only one that would
put up with me. I couldn't go anywhere without him being there, he would
even get jeaolus of the people I worked with. I lost all my self confidence
and all my friends because of his possessiveness and jealousy. He threatened
to hurt me or himself if I ever left, luckily I managed to get out of
the relationship unharmed. He physicaly abused me a number of times
for no reason: I was dressed 'too sexy', I had on 'too much make-up',
I told a friend on the phone that I saw an old guy from school down
the street. Just little things triggered him off, he was jealous in
every way.
How I coped:
I learnt to read his moods and go with the flow. I learnt to say the
right things to get around his anger, I never tried to provoke him or
fight back. I shut myself off from the rest of the world and tried to
pretend that everything was OK.
How the situation changed:
I just sort of woke up one day and reaslised that I wasn't happy with
my life. I knew that something had to be done but I was always too scared
to fix the problem. I told him that I was moving back home to be with
my family. He was really angry at first and accused me of wanting to
leave him to be with another guy. In the end he practically threw me
out and tried to make me feel like the bad person. I left as soon as
I could. He would often call me in the middle of the night to make sure
I was in bed, but after a few months the calls stopped and I haven't
heard from him in months.
What helped me to get stronger:
My family and friends ( that I thought I had lost because of him) helped
me out alot. I went back home to live with Mum and Dad and my friends
were always supportive. They all really helped me see that I'm not the
bad guy, that I was emotionally and physically abused and that it was
wrong.
What I would say to someone who is being abused:
Don't listen to your partner's hurtful words, they are only striking
out to make you feel like the bad person. Be strong, tell your family
and friends what this person is doing to you. If they are physically
abusing you report it straight away even if you feel threatened to tell
someone. There will always be help out there for you. You are not the
bad person, you have been abused and this is wrong.
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