Think up a Safety Plan

Take your safety seriously. If you feel unsafe or threatened by your boyfriend or girlfriend, think of ways to protect yourself.

If you are still with them:

You might not feel able to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment. But there are still things you could do to help you to feel safer in the relationship.

• Tell friends or family and get them to help protect you by being around when your boyfriend/girlfriend is there
• Try not to be alone with them
• Think of ways to stay in control of the situation. For example, if you are out, arrange another way of getting home rather than going with them, or try not to drink too much or use other drugs. Take extra money in case you need to call a taxi or use the telephone.
• Have an excuse prepared so you can leave quickly if you feel uncomfortable or scared.
• Have a code word or signal that you can use to get friends to help you
• If you go to school / Uni / work with him, you could talk to a teacher or a workmate you trust to help protect you
• Memorise or write down the number of the police so you can call them if you are in danger (In Australia phone 000 for police in an emergency)
• If you want to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend but are scared about their reaction, you could consider telling them over the phone, rather than in person. Or you could tell them when there are other people around.

After you have broken up with them:

You might still have to have contact with your ex-, especially if you are at the same school, workplace or have mutual friends. They might still try to contact you after you have split up. You could try the suggestions above, and also think about these ideas.

• Have an answering machine or someone else take messages from them
• Arrange a safe place to stay where they can't contact you
• Talk to someone about what you could do legally to protect yourself from any more violence. Check out the Legal info and Services section.

You can write your safety plan ideas out in the Thinking Sheet.

Have a read of Isabella's story about how she got free from an abusive relationship, how she protected herself, and her advice to someone who was being abused. You can also read other's stories.

Go to DVIRC's website for information about Technology and Safety (internet use, computers, mobiles etc)